Southern BBQ Christmas

Jodi:  I hope everyone had a Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Christmakkah/Winter Solstice filled with joy and the spirit of the holidays.  

Randy:  Finally, Randy has returned to blogging!

Christmas is my favorite time of year. Yes, it is the truth. It is the one time of year that people all around are trying to be genuinely nice to each other. I don't understand why it has to be called the "Christmas Spirit." Heck, I'm Jewish... what's the deal?! You never hear about the "Purim Spirit." Whatever, I guess this is for another time.

First, I'd like to apologize for my hiatus from cyberworld. I am 15 days away from the marathon. Between working my tail off and training the remaining nub of my tail... I've been busy. And no offense, if I have a second to breathe... the blog is not my first thought.

But this is about Christmas... not my personal feelings about other random stuff.

Jodi:  We were running a little behind with the holidays this year.  We had the tree up a few days after Thanksgiving, but only got a few decorations on the actual tree at that time, and then never actually finished it.

 

We celebrated Hanukkah, but only made it through the first couple of days before we ran out of candles.  We didn't even get our nativity set up...  which may be a good thing as we didn't have any visits from Dusty the GI Joe sniper this year.  We did however, get Mary, Jesus, and Joseph up on Christmas Eve. There they are on the fireplace, right next to our menorah.  We're such a multicultural procrastinating household.  Actually, we did get all of our Christmas shopping done early this year, so that's a check in the "nice" column.  I also made tons of Christmas cookies and hosted a Christmas cookie exchange.  We didn't get our holiday cards out on time, naughty us.  Christmas came anyway, just like it did in the Grinch.

Randy:  My company has a shutdown from Christmas thru New Years. They figure its easier to send everyone home than to be less productive during that time. Before you get all jealous... I have less vacation throughout the year and barely get the important national holidays off.

But I have been in awesome spirits for quite a while and that's caused me to be more generous which makes my spirits better and then I'm more generous. You should totally try it. It works.

So I was off for 3 DAYS IN A ROW when Christmas Eve rolls around. Jodi had to work and we (her parents included) were going to Christmas Mass. HOW AWESOME! And even better... I had to make dinner! Is this holiday about the Jews in Egypt?! I'm noticing some similarities. Just kidding. So first, Jodi and I went mad food shopping and then I made a great chicken parm dinner. Ok, I cut corners and used a lot of cheese. Cheese makes food better. But while this is going on, its snowing.

Jodi:  A funny thing happened Christmas Eve.  As we were driving to the grocery store for last minute BBQ Christmas ingredients, it started to flurry.  By time we got out of the store, it was all-out snowing!  Totally unexpected, we got a white Christmas!

By time we had dinner and piled into the car a full 45 minutes before mass started, the snow was probably about an inch or so deep.  We drove through the neighborhood and while I was admiring the Christmas lights and snow on the pretty houses, Randy said, "I wonder how many people will be deterred from going to church by this snow?"  Dad replied, "Hopefully a lot!"  

As we turned out of our neighborhood, Karma got them back.

Dad's car wouldn't go up the unsalted, unbrined, unplowed hill.  We had to glide backwards down the hill into a driveway, turn around, go back through the neighborhood of pretty little houses all blanketed in snow, out the other exit from the neighborhood, made an illegal left onto the plowed, salted and flat main road, and made it to church right as it started.  In a Christmas miracle, we even got seats.  Lesson?  Make that illegal left first.  Check for cops, make sure you're clear, then go.

Just kidding!

Randy:  They put us in the 4th freakin' row at Church. I promised to behave. I did sneak out to the bathroom and ran into the Monseigneur. We exchanged some "Merry Christmas's" and he asked how I was doing. I wanted so badly to say, "As Bruce Springsteen would say, 'its hard to be a saint in the city.'" A promise is a promise.

Jodi:  We have a tradition every year where we go to my buddy's house for Christmas Eve after we're done all the family festivities.  Eric and I have been friends since first grade, and his birthday is on Christmas Eve (every year, Mom!)  Unfortunately I didn't finish up my Southern BBQ dishes for Bryan's house until after midnight and was falling asleep in the kitchen.

Randy:  We didn't go to our friend's, Eric's, birthday. Eric is great. And his parties are always fascinating. FYI... vegan cookies suck. In case he reads this... I won't ruin what his birthday present is. I picked it out.  

Let's talk about Christmas.

I got Dunkin Donuts because I love their coffee and the people that work there are the best.

Anyway, Christmas morning with Jodi's family is funny.  I called it the [Jodi's last name] Christmas Present Opening Extravaganza. Why? Because how long do you think it should take to open presents with 6 people? If you guessed 4 hours... you'd be correct. First, we sing the national anthem. Then we name a chairman of the presents. That person is responsible for identifying the location for each person to sit. Also, they must organize the presents by person and by location.  Then, we open 1 present at a time in order of ascending age. I KID YOU NOT! We deviated this year by just going in a circle.

Jodi:  You may remember the tradition from last year of Bryan buying Randy a funny hat each year.  That tradition continued, as well as lots of other funny gifts.  Here are some highlights:

Randy: I wanted nothing this year from anyone. Its not really a joke. I really wanted nothing. But I did get 3 awesome presents. First, I got a combo pack of beef jerky. Second, I got a case for my Google Nexus 7 table (I am afraid of breaking stuff so I leave it in the box until I get a protective case. Shut up). And the best present... I got a sheep. The donation of the sheep for charity is the best. I am putting the card at my desk at work. Hopefully, she'll tell you what charity it was and I recommend it...[note from Jodi:  Heifer International] you donate money to buy sheep, goats, oxen, whatever in third world countries. That made my whole Christmas.

Jodi:  Ashley got a scarf from Grandma, and in the end, all of the ladies received gorgeous scarves from Grandma.  We had a great photo op to send thanks to Grandma for her wonderful handiwork.

A classy wine glass for the Red Solo Cup Fan Club:

Randy got Bryan a full-sized pair of adult Batman footie pajamas from webundies.com.  I'm not kidding.  Incriminating pictures to follow.

Randy got some fancy undergarments as well.  He said no underwear, but he actually picked these out at Target for himself.  I am usually against Christmas lists and people picking out their own presents, but this year I was a little desperate, and I needed something other than the sheep.

Bryan and his framed autograph from Gina Glocksen.  Remember when I said I would get that framed back in May/June?  Hahahahahahaha!

Then Ashley said, "Does that mean we have to hang a picture of Randy in our house?"

Randy and his instant grits:

No self-respectin' Southerner uses instant grits. I take pride in my grits.  Name that movie!

Calvin even got a gift.

The 2012 Christmas hat.  There was actually a warning on the brim that it contains chemicals known by the State of California to cause cancer and sterility.  Mom made him take it off right away and after the pictures, it got tossed.  Sorry, Bryan.

Randy:  Here's the weird thing... every year, I end up with the most presents. I super appreciate it all, but first, I'm Jewish. Is this some way to convert me with wrapped goodness? Second, I don't want anything. How can people find me presents if I don't want anything.

We finally finished... and the closing ceremony signified another successful Christmas. Don't laugh... if we had 1000 Chinese kids playing the drums like the Olympics... we would.

Then my family came. But everyone was on their best behavior so this must be special.

Jodi: As the name "Southern BBQ Christmas" suggests, we had southern BBQ for Christmas dinner.  Bryan made pulled pork and ribs (shout-out to Cousin Mary who gave Bryan the awesome pulled pork recipe!), Ashley made pulled chicken, and cheesey broccoli casserole, Mom made corn bread, sweet potatoes, and corn on the cob, I made Mac N' Cheese (Thanks, T, once again for your awesome recipe, my family LOVED it), and Paula Deen's Apple Upside down Praline Cake, Aunt Marlene made sausage, Jason made banana pudding, and Randy's parents brought the biggest tray of treats I've ever seen from Sweet Eats in Cherry Hill.  It was the most decadent meal I think I've had since Thanksgiving!  Everything was just. so. GOOD.  Kudos to Bryan and Ashley for organizing and making the hard stuff!

Randy's dad spent time in the Peace Corps in the Marshal Islands back before he met Joni.  That is actually grammatically correct, because it is several islands, but considered to be one place.

Randy:  My brother is awesome at gift giving. He doesn't spend a lot of money, but the phrase, "its the thought that counts," he does more than everyone. His gifts took effort.

Shih-Tzus are like potato chips, you can't have just one.

For me... a t-shirt that says, "the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." I will wear it after my shower after I finish the marathon. It was the perfect gift.

Jodi:  Perfect to wear as I push him around in a wheel chair.

This is my shirt from Jason.  As you can tell by my face, I found it hilarious.

Randy re-enacted his parents' first Christmas as a married couple in a shadow box.  Murray hung an old army sock, and Joni hung a stocking, and the Pillsbury dough boy was Joni's gift.  Randy found a 1972  Pillsbury Dough Boy on the boardwalk in Ocean City in September.  It was at "awww" gift of the night.  Yeah Randy's a sensitive guy.

Calvin was cute, as expected.

This is adorable.  If you can't read it, it says, "Dear Randy, What do these three things (lunch meat, sour cream and cheese) have in common besides being scotch-taped to a shoebox - give up - they all need to be refrigerated!  Our gift to you is in our trunk - a refrigerator for work!  Happy Chanukah!  Love Mom & Dad

This was my other gift from Jason.  It says "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind!  Dr. Suess"

Aunt Marlene, Ashley, Me, Mom and Joni, all wearing our new Christmas scarves.  Thanks, Grandma!

Then it was on to dessert and my Apple Praline cake with Jason's banana pudding and little bite-sized cheese cakes, brownies, blondies, etc. etc. etc.  Yum!

Randy:  Anyway... the things you missed include the conversation between my dad and Jodi's mom about what pain killers Jodi will use when delivering a child. Nope, we're not pregnant. But what do you expect from 2 overly-opinionated people who are extremely not-patient about being grandparents?

We did NOT talk about economics, gun control, or politics. It was a miracle!

Jodi:  Next year will be a Mexican Christmas!  I am already on the hunt for mariachi Christmas music!

Next time: iPhone upgrades

Merry Christmas, everyone!